i finally realized what i want. i now want to just go with the flow and just date. to just discover myself and to really find out what i really want in life. in a man. in myself.

i realized how uptight i could be about things. always wanting things to work out perfectly. this imaginative mind that i have, im not going to get rid of but i need to be more rational about things sometimes.

i deserve a lot better. not the things that have been bothering me in the past. the things that hinder me from being the person who i really am.

i need someone who i can be comfortable around. who i can be myself with. someone like my best friend, jessica, who i can just talk to anything about and just really, truly be. myself. and no one else.

i care about you a lot. but right now, i need to focus more on myself. on bettering myself. on finding out what’s most important right now. i always hold onto this string of hope that things will work out. or more like, i wish things led somewhere. who knows what will happen in the future. but now, im letting everything go. i’m no longer going to live in the past. life is about moving forward. and that is what i am going to do. learn from the past and only move forward.